perhaps it was a sign... perhaps the reason why what i had writen erased is beyond my understanding.... i wish i remembered what it was... and why i was writing it... the truth is that i dont know why my laptop sudenly restarted making me lose the few words i had writen down... whats important is that im here... giving it another try... the pepper man has shown me what he writes down... so has the canadian hottie.... i believe pepper to have somewhat of an air of efrain medina....whos other work i havent read but having read erase una vez el amor pero tuve q matarlo was enough for me to admire and respect the caribean warmth of his words.... even when he is coursing... i like his sometimes mundane observations.... which are but refletions.... that he rather speak out that keep inside..... amanda has some cool stuff as well.... perhaps i should follow her lead and example and write while im drunk and really let out some of the stuff i have inside.... i like her poems.... as once i liked mine.... when things are said....when words are spoken....thats when it counts....for when you speak only in thoughts.. you deny reality.....only to live in dreams....

not only until last semester would i learn about the social construction of reality.... and how reality is constucted socially.... mix that up with what the bleep do we know.... and how matter is empty.... shit i remembered what i started writing.... the first time i attempted to blog.... it was about the life of a star.... and how after living its whole life burning up its hidroyen and helium it explodes...... a supernova.... when it does this it sends stuff out into the universe.... when i say stuff... its these lots of elements.... like iron.. etc etc.... i jumped the first part.... which connects to where i want to get.... a weird gravitational force starts pulling shit together.... thats how the star first comes to exist.... thats how planets come to exist.... after it explodes and sends all the stuff into the universe.... other weird gravitational forces start to work... and pull shit together.... and thus the means for life to come to exist... god? I wont discuss that now.... not now... not today.... anyway... perhaps in another entry..... its too complex a subject for me to try to elaborate on it.... even more knowing that what i thought in the past is not what i think now... and probably is probably not what i will think tomorrow... for now ....anicha..... the law of impermanence.... nothing ever stays the same.... everything changes.... everything flows....